Eating Blackbirds Lift Off!!

At last! We have the lift off of Eating Blackbirds!

It's all hotting up and this afternoon I'm speeding (well, driving in second gear) up to my publishers to fetch a big box of books, so I'm very excited to be able to see the book in the flesh! I want to Up the marketing, so am doing a "book signing" at the Royal Welsh Show next week - aisle D, The Welsh Book Council, 12 - 1 p.m. If you are in the Show, I'll be the one sunk up to my knees in mud, mumbling from a wet book and shivering - I might even be in lycra, you never know...

Last year, the travelling and parking for the Show was a nightmare and people were sitting in a traffic jam until midday, so I was nervous about how I might actually get there by 11.30ish to sort myself out. So, I decided to walk - it's only 5 miles after-all, and after having spent years happily being able to manage thirty miles a day over the Brecon Beacons, I was sure that a few miles along a smooth road would be a doddle. However, as time was ticking I was getting a bit nervous.
Therefore I was highly relieved when I somehow managed to wrangle myself onto no other than Jamie and Louise's morning programme on Radio Wales for Tuesday morning! Apart from the excitement about getting on the programme (http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/radiowales/sites/jamieandlouise/ tuesday at some point between 9.30 and 10.00 ish!) it also meant that the walking wouldn't be possible (there was much rejoicing!). However, the down side is that I might have to dig my old bike out of the barn, scrape the bird sh*t off the handlebars and see if I can lift my leg high enough to swing it over the saddle. So I am hoping that there isn't a webcam for the show, as I'll probably be perched on the edge of my chair, red, sweaty and dressed in a tigger outfit, as I mistakenly pushed it into my saddle-bag thinking it was my most dynamic animal print top.

I'll let you know how it went...

Lorraine.

A Day in the Life...

Sometimes things happen that epitomise our lives - this week it struck me that I had a few of those moments...

We had to buy something for our daughter for her school uniform and found that the nearest stockists were about an hour and a quarter away (take note those looking to open a new shop), so after a great deal of faffing, we set off and arrived, starving, at about half past two. We decided to go for some lunch and found a nice little place that did a good bargain meal for the children. It turned out to be a three-course bargain meal for the children and another bargain offer was to buy two beers and be allowed to take home the lovely beer glasses - big old carved things that the brewery were obviously throwing out. Realising that we weren't going to be able to go anywhere before all three courses were scoffed, we said, Why Not, to the beers and settled down to enjoy them.
By the time the girls had finally finished wiping their ice cream over their t-shirts, we realised that the beers were about a fiver each, which more than covered the naff glasses - which turned out to be one glass. Although I was very tempted to shove the second one in my bag, I didn't and I was soon pleased, as the thing that we were given is too tall to fit in any of our cupboards. Well done, Cafe Ask, top marketing strategy.
Oh, and the thing we went to buy was sold out, and on the way home a friend said we could borrow hers.

The second thing was in relation to my bad back which we didn't think was being helped by our cheap matress, which is so knackered that one lies in a little pit. Huw bought a lovely one that comes in a box and unfolds in situ. Great - apart from the fact that I did my back in dragging the damn thing up the stairs...

And the third one was a blinder - but, I've forgotten it, and it's nearly 11pm. However, I am sure that you get the drift...

A Pleasant Experience in the Post Office...

Evening,

I usually end up in our village shop most days and tend to forget what I went in for and come out with a pile of chocolate for Huw and a jar of Marmite. Yesterday I went in and smiled vaguely at the woman in front of me in the queue. I was a bit of a state, having been up most of the night before with one of the girls, was wearing a bad vest and had "it'll surely do another day" hair.

She went to the counter and asked, "Do you have the new book by Lorraine Jenkin in please, as I'd heard her new one is out?"

Ali at the counter said, "ooh, I don't know, but ask - her" and pointed to me, frantically rubbing a cornflake off my vest. The woman looked at me and obviously thought, "Why? Does that state deal with the shelf stacking and ordering?"
"Yes, I wrote it! Why, have you read the other one?"
It turned out that she had and she had enjoyed it and she had sent it off to a few mates! Great!

I walked out of the shop with a smile on my face - and a tin of Golden Syrup for tea.

There is little else to report as I've spent the rest of the week nursing a child with suspected chicken pox and chasing a blue bottle fly.

Rev-ving up on the grid...

No, not that Grand Prax or whatever it's called, it's the countdown to the release of Eating Blackbirds!

It has come as a bit of a shock to the system to realise that it is just a few weeks away, as I tend to work at least six months behind where I should be at any particular point in time. I have booked myself a mini book signing at the Royal Welsh Show in the corner of the Welsh Books Council tent (aisle D, tues 12 p.m, be there or be square) so now have to just work out how to get there, what to do, how to do it etc.

One of my biggest dilemmas is actually getting to the Show. We live about 5 miles away, and last year at about half nine in the morning, there was a queue of stationary traffic sat on the main road, with people asking me things like, "is there a short cut?" "Yes," I said for a laugh, as I directed them on an extra loop, made them lose their place in the queue and caused them another two hours on top of what they had already done.

A lady at my publishers suggested I walk and although I think it was a joke, it might just be the best thing to do to make sure that I actually get there and back in the time that I have. I am therefore looking for a sandwich board type thing that I can advertise my signing on, and a pile of balloons to tie to my head to make me look a bit "stop me and buy one".

My only worry is that I meet the people who I sent off via a dead-end loop and they are prepared this time and so throw their flasks and bacon sandwiches at me...

So, in my quest for marketing my product, if anyone has any good ideas, please let me know! I am available for talks, writing articles, wearing balloons on my head and I may even give a copy to Prince Charles if he happens to walk by my stall, as that's the only thing I have thought of yet...

One of those "Oy, Jenkin - NO!" moments...

Evening folks and hope all is well?

I had a little incident the other day that made me squirm that I thought you might be interested in hearing about?
I was at the Hay Festival doing a little talk (well, more of a soliloquy considering the amount of people that were listening) and my editor from Honno had arrived to support me and try and look like an intrigued crowd.
I had recently done a great deal of changes to Eating Blakbirds in response to her comments and I was keen to know whether she had liked them or not. One of the problems that I had to look at was that one of my lesser characters was a little less-rounded than she needed to be. She needed more background and more of an explanation of her personality. I had spent a lot of time thinking about how I might make this happen: I wanted her to be a bit quirky, but likeable and someone that people could understand. I thought back to my old mate Tuckface and knew that that was the way forward...
So, I gave Lucy-Ann hamsters, gerbils, guinea-pigs and mice. She had chinchillas, rats and fur stuck to her skirt. It allowed her new boyfriend to step back on them, try and like them, not quite appreciate them and want them off his lap. Basically, all over this lady's house were these little critters in cages.
My "Oy, Jenkin" moment was when my editor said, "Was that some kind of joke? Did the others tell you or what?" I was confused, then the hideous reality hit when she said that she had been tempted to take a photograph of her front room and email it to me - showing me all of the hamster, gerbil and mouse cages on the shelves...

Proof-reading and broken toes

Hello!
Apologies for the delay in posting -we've been off for a week's sunshine in sunny Lyme Regis! My brother was away, so we were allowed to fill his house with sand and melted ice cream on condition we looked after the chickens and didn't lose the rabbit in the woods behind.
We've had a great time -as soon as the girls realised that the chickens did dances of excitement when slugs were dropped into their pen, that was the week's entertainment sorted and my brother's lettuces have never looked so good.
But, back down to earth with (literally) a bump when we came back and my penance for not immediately sorting all the suitcases and piles of sandy clothes out - choosing instead to have a day in the paddling pool in the garden - was to stub my toe on the hardest one that was left in the middle of the floor. My toe has gone funny shape and purple and I am left hobbling around and swearing. Karma is a terrible thing as it was only last weekend that I took the mick out of another mate for breaking his toe...

However, today I have received the proofs for Eating Blackbirds! I have now to read it all through again, knowing that what stays is actually what is printed. Quite scary really as although I have read Eats, Shoots and Leaves, I do have a tendancy to wing it when it comes to apostrophes... So, I will spend the day sat reading on the sofa, looking like my dad does when he sits amongst washing piled up either side of him, knowing that if he notices it, he has to do something about it.
The teapot is warmed, my red pen is poised and my toe is balanced on a large cushion, waiting for someone to notice it and provide a little sympathy - Huw has already informed me that I might be waiting some time...

A car park full of Porches and Me.

I had a great experience today, after I'd spent an hour trying to find some smart clothes that hadn't been yanked off their hangers and compacted into the girls' "den" inside what used to be a wardrobe. I was to be the speaker at a ladies' luncheon at the four star Llangoed Hall.

The first piece of luck had me arriving to find the car park full of porches etc, and therefore I had to park in the staff carpark which was just as well as when I opened my dirty car door, three crisp packets and a princess wand fell out - it would not have been a good look chasing them past my awaiting audience, so I am glad that only the workmen could roll their eyes at my attempts to retrieve them and chuck them back in the car.

I had been relatively calm and confident, but on arriving saw a large group of smart ladies all chatting with a glass of wine, and I turned into a bit of a gibbering wreck. I was taken to the luncheon room which about finished me off, with its shiny glasses and too much cutlery. "Who are they?" I asked the waitress. "Chiropodists or Chiropractors," she said, "not sure which." Strange I thought, though useful for that twinge I've been getting recently.

Eventually, the ladies - who turned out to be a lovely bunch of Soroptimists - sat down and began the finest lunch, of which I finished each course in about a tenth of the time that they did, slugging down two jugfuls of iced water in my panic. As it finally became my cue to speak, they all disappeared to the toilet, and my nerves got to the bitting thumb stage.

My plan had been to tell amusing tales for twenty minutes and then sell all the books in my bag that I had been told it was OK to bring. Instead, because of the toilet queue, I told my amusing (ish) tales, answered a few questions, looked at the clock, ruined it all by cursing "F88*** Me, I've got to go" and sprinted out the door with seconds to spare to collect the children.

I took with me a few things from today - apart from the napkin and the bit of cheesecake on my top:
1) Always, ALWAYS get your clothes ready the night before.
2) Park your car on a hill in a breeze before going anywhere nice, and open the doors.
3) Know your audience, so you don't try and interest them in your corns, when really they are a retired geologist.

Best wishes,
Lorraine.