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Friday, 1 August 2008

Huw's new business and Show Goers' poo

Today it’s Huw’s today! (isn’t it always?) Today Flomp started. Huw’s business, For Letting of Managed Property opened its doors today in Bristol and apparently they had a happy day drinking lots of tea and quality biscuits and doing lots of work. It’s been a good day for Huw Chance. Well done Huw.
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I, instead, spent a nice time on Builth’s swingy bridge with a friend and our girls throwing sticks into the water, until we were told by another passing friend that people from the nearby campsite had been using the same railings that we were leant on - and Maude was sucking - to sit on, hang their arses over the top of in order to discharge their Royal Welsh Show food into the river. As we wondered slowly away, we were then told that the handrail that we clung to as we walked down the steps, had been used to wipe backsides on and no doubt the sticks that we had thrown into the river had knocked off clinkers. The beautiful day lost its rainbow.

Anyway, it’s dawned on me today that I need to step up a gear in the book world. I’ve had too many weeks of writing nice articles that either do or don’t get published, and it’s too easy and comfy. I can sit in my pants with my vat of coffee and spiel out nonsense and nothing comes of it. I might as well go back to my obsessive cleaning routine, and at least the underside of the cooker will be sparkling again.

So, from here on, it’s hard core effective sales talk and stalking of the Guardian Review staff. It’s book clubs, WI talks and general prostitution. So if anyone knows of a little group of people anywhere who have exhausted their speakers on topics such as My Operation or Living with Clematis, and who might be able to offer a cup of tea and a piece of fruit cake to someone happy to talk for an hour about getting having their leg bitten off by a horsefly or saying Good Lettuce instead of Good Morning (it was really funny, honest), and maybe buy a few books on their way out – as otherwise, they won’t be GOING out – then please let me know.

In the meantime, I’ll just start by shifting rubble from the living room carpet.