bas**tard fuc**kin dogs

Well, the best thing that happened today without doubt was watching video clips of the Davies / Richards family spending the hottest day of the year trying to dig a dog out of a pipe. The poor thing had been yowling all night from the woods and eventually they found it stuck in a drainage pipe several feet underground.
The owner, being a good Breconshire farmer, said to "leave the fuc*kin thing there", but having lived in town too long, they couldn't. After much swearing, Collin mended his old digger and managed to get it to the woods. He dug a hole that would lose a bus and eventually they found the pipe. They finished the digging off by hand, then got some bloke from ten miles away to come with his disc cutter to cut through the pipe.
They are all swearing and cheering as he finally manages to break through the pipe. Then the video swings round to see a muddy black dog running out of the bushes coming to see what all the fuss is about.
Collin swears like I have never heard swearing before and the dog gets a boot up its arse.

I only hope that that bump I felt as I drove out of the farm wasn't significant...

Crap Holidays and Two Legged Giraffes

So, you learn something new every day. Today it was that you can't edit yesterday's blog.

The good news is that The Observer wants my piece, My Crap Holiday, for next week's edition. The bad news is that I have to break the news to my family that it was about a holiday that I spent with them... But it is good to know that I have now officially suffered for my art.

Someone else who has suffered for art is the plastic giraffe now with only two legs that I found in a clump of cut grass on the yard after the bloke came to collect the lawn mower. I'll just have to collect him leaves from now on so that he doesn't have to stretch...

The first blog of the rest of my life

After having been badgered by Huw on a daily basis for the last three months to get a blog, I have finally done it; he can now move on to badgering me about something else. I look forward to hearing what that might be.

For those who don't know, I am doing this in the quest for publicity. My book is selling well, but I am in need of sorting my publicity out and a blog is the thing that apparently happening young dudes have, so here goes.

The best thing that has happened today in terms of book things is to have an article accepted - see http://www.synergise.com/nationalities/argentines.php . The worst thing is definately when my sausage fell out of my sausage bagette into the road. Bit gritty, but the road is probably cleaner than our kitchen.

My blog aim is to stick a new one up each day. My blog mission statement is create enough publicity to send my book rocketing to the best seller spot for the rest of the year.