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Thursday, 4 September 2008

Mainly getting wet

Exciting times as the Tricky Second Novel nears its completion. I have written it and am now going through it for a fresh look and so that I can remember how it starts and what I called the characters at the beginning of the book before I changed their names to Barack and Hilary.
I have checked with the publishers that they might want to consider it and they have said that they are waiting in excitement.

I am terrified for the following reasons:
It might be rubbish.
The first one might have been OK, but this one might be rubbish.
It might appeal to no-one.
It might not make anyone laugh at all.
I've had a number of people saying that they couldn't put the first one down, one even reading it as she walked upstairs - people might read the first chapter and put it down for good.
It might have no hooks, no-one fancying the main character (quite possible), no page-turning incidents.
It might just be crude, lewd, naff and grammatically incorrect.

And if this is the case:

I will no longer be an author and will have to look for a job at County Hall and wear a blouse again.
I will have spent all the money I could possibly have earned from the first one on the launch party.
I will have had my fifteen minutes and still didn't appear in Take-a-Break.
I'll have to go on Jeremy Kyle in his "when good authors go bad" programme.

I have accepted an invite to do a live talk in front of Rhayader's WI in April 2009 (yes, a bit excessive in their forward planning, eh?), but by that time I will probably be living in my car, drinking Mr Muscle and telling everyone how I used to be in the Brecon and Radnor...